The Juggling Act

When I was a child I was quite fascinated with juggling. I would try to juggle everything … socks after folding laundry, toilet paper that I was supposed to be refilling the bathroom with, grapes I was to pack in my lunch and anything else I could find in multiples of three. I frequently just made a mess and got told to stop playing and get things done. Needless to say, I never perfected the act; juggling was just not my steaze and it still isn’t.

Though I never learned the act of juggling objects, I perfected juggling priorities in my life. I am no stranger to hard work and learned early that making life “work” for me would be determined by my ability to juggle task because there was no way I would be successful trying to focus all of my energy on one thing at a time, though it could work if I could prioritize and allot time to things based on importance so everything could get done. In college I got uber occupied with classes, working, and campus activities, which by my last semester included being a resident advisor, peer mentor, working at Starbucks, sitting on judicial committees, and maintaining honors status as a student carrying 22 credit hours. This work ethic and juggling act of life continued into graduate school and adulthood, much of which was illustrated through my many years of working one full time salaried job and two part-time jobs to survive and provide for myself.

Life juggling was not just what I did but who I was – my identity - and I had become super comfortable in its clothing until I met the love of my life and needed to make room for my most important priority, my relationship, and that juggling was so much different than had experienced because it required me to learn how to juggle with a partner who was juggling all on his own. We managed to make it work, but I am experiencing a whole different kind of partner juggling now that we have been married for two years, and I made a career change approximately 6 months ago. While I enjoy my new job duties, it requires a new juggling act, called work travel. I have never had to partner juggle near and far!

In the role of a wife, it is important that my husband feels that I take an active role in making our house a home, which includes creating love, comfort, showing support, being intimate, and most of all keeping it clean. Though we all get behind a time or two, I feel it is much easier for me to clean and maintain when I am home. But when I am traveling approximately three days a week the straightening up is left to my husband, and let’s just say “that ain’t his steaze” and it definitely is not the way “I juggle.” So I realized that if travel is a career requirement that is not going to change and making my house a home is not optional then I would have to find another way to juggle with my husband.

Let me tell you, it was so difficult to admit that I, the professional life juggler, needed assistance because my typical juggling act just was not cutting it! Recognizing and admitting is the first step, but what you do with the information makes all the difference. So continuing to travel and tell myself that I could make time that did not exist to continue to juggle the way I always had and get different results, which I was not longer getting, was the definition of insanity … and I am not insane. So I had a choice, continue to demonstrate insanity and not contribute to keeping my house a home, in regards to cleaning, or get some help. So I sought out cleaning assistance on a biweekly basis to take care of the big things as I continued to manage the day-to-day things in the midst of work travel.

Wifespective: The lesson for me is that I can still wear the clothing of a professional juggler, but I may have to adjust my strategy because though I never was able to juggle objects, I have mastered juggling life and part of being a master is researching and adjusting your strategy when needed! It takes an adjustment in pride to ask for help, but it can make all the difference!

I now have assistance with keeping my house clean and that has allowed me to get away from the burden of spending time stressing about cleaning duties and spending the few days I have home a week playing catch-up. But most of all, I get to focus on all of the other elements that contribute to making a house a home, which starts with me being able to give my husband the best of me.

Tell me wives:

How do you manage juggling life’s priorities? Have you ever had to research and adjust your juggling strategy to maintain your sanity and your household? What did you do and how have you coped? Join the conversation!